Av Nash

Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukar...

I was driving back to home, humming a tune from one of dev anand's song- dil ka bhanwar kare pukar. Had been listening to this song since morning. Its dev anand's birthday today. Facebook, radio, news channels, all flooded with wishes for him and his songs, beautiful songs he has acted for. Remember Guide? Wow! Another beautiful movie by dev anand. I was lost in the beautiful duet- dil ka bhanwar kare pukar. A beautiful girl overtook me in her scooty. This girl I have noticed a number of times near my home. She is a big show-off, tries to be a diva, but unfortunately is not. She has an East-Asian orientation, fair, dresses like a mannequin in a lady-garment shop. Honestly, I don't like her. And moreover, I don't like her overtaking me at high speed. She had done this a couple of times, and I have never liked that. Maybe, it was my reaction to her overtake that invited her to do it again every time she would encounter me on my wheels.

But this time I decided to ignore her. I wanted to keep enjoying my humming. Beautiful song! Isn't it? So I successfully withdrew my attention from the overtaking-conflict and slowed down my wheels, back to normal speed. She slowed down too. Yes, she wanted me to react in the usual fashion. She wanted me to overtake her  so that she could overtake me again and the overtaking-race would continue till I turn right for my home and she moved ahead for her's. But this time, I had decided to break the tradition and follow my suite. She waited for me for some time. I did not react.

In the meantime, another car came in to do my rituals and pressed her down to her side of the road, honking and racing the accelerator to the aggressive limits. She lost her balance for a while, but then regained it, and thankfully did not fall. I was watching all this happening in front of my wheels. Remember, I had been over-taken! I felt glad. Chalo! This would teach her a lesson. I was also thankful that she didn't fall.

Anyways, she regained her balance and her senses and kept driving, me behind her. I still had no intentions of not breaking the tradition. You go your way! I am not in the mood today! She probably got it. So, she speeded up and drove off. I was back to my humming. Ha! Ha! She was already pissed-off over being overtaken by a car, almost losing to her senses. She was feeling subjugated, defeated, humiliated. She needed this.

Humming the song and driving smoothly I reached the signal, which was the end point of the first lap of our overtaking-race, traditionally. The predator- car was at the signal and the prey-scooty beside it, at the driver's window. And wow! They were having a nice argument in the middle of the road. I took my wheels close to them so that I could listen and enjoy their heated-conversation. The girl was in complete revenge-mode. So she was fighting with all her energy and enthusiasm, of course without making any sense. Women usually do that, actually mostly. Watching her funny argument with the car-driver, the dialogue from the movie Pyar ka Punchnama came to my mind- hum ladkon ki ek basic si need hoti hai, to make sense in an argument. Ladkiyon ko koi fark nahi padta, sense jaisi bekar si cheez ke liye wo argument haar jayein?  

10 seconds were left for the signal to go green. They had fought for the last 100 seconds or something and I think that the car driver had lost to her. Of course he had to, there's no point arguing with a girl, probably just off her teenage, about the way she should drive on the road. Ha! Ha! Clever man. She adjusted her rear-view mirror to my face and instinctively I looked into her mirror, our eyes met. She gazed at me like I was responsible for all that. But I was so determined to avoid her today that nothing on earth could get me involved. The signal went green. The car driver waited for her to lead, as if trying to show his etiquettes to a lady. Or maybe he was. I followed her, smiling at the car driver. That must have encouraged him.

She was now driving calmly, probably in a shock. Pissed off by the incident. How could a car driver insult her, such a diva, in the middle of the road. Her mood was completely bruised. I kept driving, not humming anymore. Trying to observe her reaction to the incident that had just taken place, her humiliation. Her ego was grinded. She could not even think of any overtaking-race at this point of time. I didn't like that either. The car driver had done his job, and had now disappeared.

A kilometer before the right-turn to my house is CCD. She pulled off at CCD. Her boyfriend must be waiting there, I thought. I slowed down to make sure she was fine and was actually going to CCD. I saw her waving to someone inside the shop. Her boyfriend. I have seen her pillion-riding on his bike a number of times and pillion-riding in a way that only girlfriends can. I drove ahead, back to my humming. Dil ka bhanwar kare pukar, pyar ka raag suno, pyar ka raag suno re! hoon…hoon…hoon…

I was happy, glad. Ha! Ha! Not because of what just happened. But, because it was going to be a tough day for her boyfriend. Bechara! Aaj toh baji uski band!

Yeh Dobara Kab Hoga…

Raah dekhi thi is din ki kabse,

Aage ke sapne saja rakhe the naajane kab se.

Bade utavle the yahaan se jaane ko ,

Zindagi ka agla padaav paane ko .

Par naa jane kyon …Dil mein aaj kuch aur aata hai,

Waqt ko rokne ka jee chahta hai.

Jin baton ko lekar rote the Aaj un par hansi aati hai ,

Na jaane kyon aaj un palon ki yaad bahut aati hai .

Kaha karte the …Badi mushkil se do saal seh gaya,

Par aaj kyon lagta hai ki kuch peeche reh gaya.

Na bhoolne wali kuch yaadein reh gayi,

Yaadien jo ab jeene ka sahara ban gayi.

Meri taang ab kaun kheencha karega ,

Sirf mera sir khane kaun mera peecha karega.

Jahaan 2000 ka hisaab nahin wahaan 2 rupay ke liye kaun ladega,

Kaun raat bhar saath jag kar padega ,

KAUN MERI gaadi mujse pooche bina lejayega ,

Kaun mere naye naye naam banayega.

Mein ab bina matlab kis se ladoonga,

Bina topic ke kisse faalto baat karoonga ,

Kaun fail hone par dilasa dilayega,

Kaun galti se number aane par gaaliyaan sunayega .

Thele pe phuchke kiske saath khaaoonga.

Wo haseen pal ab kis ke saath jiyoonga,

Aise dost kahaan milenge Jo khai mein bhi dhakka de aayein,

Par fir tumhein bachane khud bhi kood jayein.

Mere gaano se pareshaan kaun hoga ,

Kabhi muje kisi ladki se baat karte dekh hairaan kaun hoga ,

Kaun kahega saale tere joke pe hansi nahin aai ,

Kaun peeche se bula ke kahega..aage dekh bhai .

Movies mein kiske saath dekhhonga,

Kis ke saath boring lectures jheloonga ,

Bina dare sachi rai dene ki himmat kaun karega.

Achanak bin matlab ke kisi ko bhi dekh kar paglon ki tarah hansna,

Na jaane ye fir kab hoga .

Doston ke liye professor se kab lad payenge ,

Kya hum ye fir kar payenge,

Tez gaadi chalane ki shart kaun lagayega .

Kaun muje mere kabiliyat par bharosa dilayega,

Aur jyada hawa mein udne par zameen pe layege ,

Meri khushi mein sach mein khush kaun hoga ,

Mere gam mein muj se jyada dukhi kaun hoga…

KEH DO DOSTON YE DOBAARA KAB HOGA

Self-Awareness- The Key To Emotional Intelligence

"What distinguishes truly great leaders from those who are just mediocre is their level of Emotional Intelligence", according to Daniel Goleman, one of the world's leading authors in this field. The research he carried out in 1995 suggests that Emotional Intelligence is twice as important as IQ and technical skills. He says,'' the higher up the organisation you go, the more important Emotional Intelligence becomes."
Emotional Intelligence is a blend of self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and motivation, empathy and social deftness. According to Daniel Goleman, perhaps the most important emotional competence is that of Self-awareness - knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions. Or, as some psychotherapists put it," bringing to the conscious mind an understanding of  the compulsions that push us around." I simply call it "the art of waking up, of realizing who you are, and why do you do the things you do the way you do them." 
For all of us, we grow up in life learning to cope as best as possible with less than perfect formative environment - provided through parents, teachers, significant others, etc. And these coping mechanisms, some good, some not so good, get us through to adulthood one way or other. But for most people, these mechanisms then move with us into adulthood and push us around in much the same way as when we were children. So, a child who grew up believing that the only way to elicit loving strokes from his parents was by succeeding at whatever he did. Such a child (well most of us) becomes a highly trained achiever, successfully running many different projects, departments, businesses, acquiring much material wealth through his material success, projecting an image of success and achievement, to the point of not really knowing why is he doing this - simply to gain the positive strokes, to feel worthwhile. He lives by the inner rule that the task must be accomplished, at ant cost.
"But what's wrong with that?" you might ask, "many organisations are run like that!" Not much, i suppose. But now let us consider  that his burning drive for success leads him to contract some serious illness, a break-up of loving relationships, and the signing of the "deal of all deals" which ends up breaking the business; let alone the many broken business relationships along  the way. Now you may start to ask,"why did he do it? Why didn't he stop at a safe level?" The truth was that he probably was not aware of what he was doing. and so, he couldn't stop. Like many of the things we do, we simply don't know why we do them; we just carry-on doing them.
Increasing our own level of self-awareness therefore empowers us to make different choices. Not that we will automatically do things differently. After-all, some habits die hard! But over time, as we build up these levels of catching ourselves doing things, we 'll have the choice to alter our behavior, eventually, before the next repetition.
We can't expect however, to go on a course, and suddenly become self aware like most things in life, it is a journey on which we can embark; a journey of self-discovery, and if we want, powerful transformation. It really depends on how brave we are. After all, we probably find out things about ourselves which we don't really like and may choose to deny.
But imagine being able to make better decisions, get more out of people we work with, communicate more efficiently by tailoring our message to the deeply held convictions of the other person, and being more creative.
Imagine an organisation where its staff members are able to take responsibility of their "own" problems and move to a place of not automatically reacting in the same old inappropriate manner as before. By supporting its employees in their journey of self-discovery, the organisation becomes free-er, fair-er and more creative.
So, in order to transform what you do, you must first become aware of where you place your inner intentions - what you are feeling and thinking, often subconsciously. The more you do this, the more natural and habitual it will become, and the more you'll give yourself the chance to truly change your behavior.

book

They say life is like a book; 

I am not any ordinary book with pages 

you will not find perfectly printed words in mine. 

I am a book filled with pictures 

squiggly lines, in different shapes and sizes, 

and it is you who colors me in, 

when you love me, it's beautiful and spontaneous, 

the pages are colorful and alive, 

when you hate me, you take your sharpness, 

and scribble over me roughly, 

Ripping right through the pages of my heart,

but it seems there's an endless supply 

of paper in this book of mine; 

for your love will continue providing. 

until the very end of my time.